A little from Column B – 04.14.2017: Headed for some Turbulence

By Bayani Domingo, Staff Writer

TheGorillaPosition

Flying is such a DRAG.

To be fair, United Airlines’ slogan is “FLY the friendly skies”, now what happens BEFORE you reach the sky, well…looks like anything goes.

By now you’ve heard the story of David Dao, a 69 year old doctor who was dragged off a United flight. There are several themes here like excessive force, airline policies on “overbooking”, and… how the hell did he get BACK on the plane? While a lot of angles have already been covered on this I’d like to pitch a new one: How could this have been avoided?

Let’s start with the obvious here, and that is…the flight was NOT “overbooked”. They had 70 seats, they had 70 paid passengers. That is NOT an “overbooking”, if you have 5 seats in your car, then 5 people can ride. That isn’t “OVERbooking” that’s “UNDER giving a sh**”. You don’t try to DE-board a plane, you don’t even allow for boarding until you have identified 4 volunteers. Screwing paying customers because of poor planning on the airline’s part in having to transport 4 employees is ludicrous. If an $800 voucher wasn’t enticing enough, they could’ve gone up to $1,300, but didn’t. There is no excuse for not doing everything in their power to elicit volunteers. The fact that there is a law that caps the amount you can be reimbursed for being bumped is ridiculous in and of itself; “well I’m very sorry, but $1,300 is the best we can do, it’s not like your grandpa is going to be any less dead when you get there…I mean, it’s called a “Wake” he’s not actually gonna do that if you show up at it.” Well that covers the pre-boarding, but what happened after the overhead luggage was stored?

Look, I’m happy that the general population is equally appalled and upset by this incident after seeing video footage. The problem is, outside of that very loud woman in the video, you don’t seem to see anyone else adamantly voicing their outrage, or standing up, or protesting when the man is being brutalized. You see a half dozen reach for their phones to capture it on video, but no outrage. Imagine, a 69 year old White woman is being forced out of her seat, all the while explaining she’s a doctor that needs to go to work tomorrow to take care of her patients. People would have lost their damn minds on that plane.

In fact, I’d posit that there is a group of individuals who should have elicited the proper outrage if they were manhandled like this on a plane: women, children, military personnel, the elderly, and…medical professionals. If anyone that fell into this group of individuals were being threatened with being dragged off a plane there would be a number of people willing to sacrifice their seats. My theory here is that a) no one believed the man was that old (#Asiangenes), b) no one believed this man was a doctor, and c) no one looked at him as if he could have been their father, or grandfather. I think the relatability of that man played a part in the reaction of some of those on the plane, not to say that it was any of the passenger’s fault that this happened, but it’s fair to assume the reaction would be very different if it was Granny Smith being slammed to the floor.

There is a problem in America that too is being dragged limply into the light of day. It’s our inability to empathize for those around us who we can’t directly relate to. Think “Black Lives Matter”, deportation squads, “Muslim ban”, even “coal miner country”. In the aftermath most of us were outraged by what transpired. But, what about those people in that moment that could have done something? The passengers, the United employees, the other Officers? If America used to be great, it’s because we used to stand up for each, what happened to that? Ironically Mr. Dao was headed back to his home in Elizabethtown, Kentucky, a state where the slogan is: United we stand, divided we fall. Well, United allowed a man taking a stand, to take a big fall. And maybe that’s because the people on that plane, were all too happy to remain divided.

Column C:

  • Tomi Lahren is suing Glen Beck’s The Blaze over wrongful termination after she came out as Pro-Choice.  Apparently in her contract the only justifiable reasons for termination were rape and incest.
  • Another “Fast and the Furious” is coming out this weekend.  Yhey’re gonna keep releasing these damn movies until the cast is “drifting” on Rascals.  It’ll be the “Arthritic and the Cranky”.
  • A woman falls off the tallest bridge in California taking a selfie and lives.  Had she landed slightly differently the incident would have been streamed on Facebook Dead.
     
  • Before you ask, NO united doesn’t serve Pepsi on their flights. Perhaps if Mr. Dao had handed that officer one he might’ve left on own two feet. An RC Cola, however would’ve gotten him murdered.
     
  • Steve Bannon has had a tough week, almost as bad as that week where he took a super quick peak into the Ark of the Covenant.  Oh man, you should’ve seen the look on his face…oh wait, you still can.
  • I’m pretty sure Jared Kushner IS the Executive branch now.  He’s now performing more unpaid thankless jobs than Melania’s right hand during her “time of the month”.
  • Tony Romo has officially announced his retirement…in 2015.
  • While he’s on vacation there is a non-zero chance Bill O’Reilly propositions a hotel employee by referring to his junk as “The Spin Zone”.
  • The White House is now accusing the Russians of covering up the gas attack.  WH officials were first suspicious when a spokesman for the Kremlin issued a statement that simply said, “He who smelt it…”
  • Sean Spicer is the kind of guy who would “crop dust” a Passover Seder after a bowl of 5 alarm chili and tell you that it’s not like he’s “Bashart Alf Asada”.
     
  • B
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