A LITTLE FROM COLUMN B – 01.26.2018: Guilty by Accusation

By Bayani Domingo, Associate Editor


I don’t have all the details, none of us do. None of us have full testimony, forensic evidence, witness accounts, nor any solid evidence that would allow us to make a truly informed decision in the matter. But each and every one of us who first heard this story, read a FB post, or saw an announcement on Twitter made an immediate decision in that moment as to which party you believed. In that second, you decided without knowing the full story, whether you though Enzo Amore was a rapist, or there was some “lying ho” crying wolf looking for attention or a payout. That’s not right, that’s not just, that’s…America.

That’s ABSOLUTELY what we do. We need to know what’s happening every second of every day the exact SECOND any bit of news becomes available. No matter how incomplete, no matter how poorly sourced, we are ADDICTED to the news cycle. We want to form an opinion and THEN look for the evidence, or at least what WE consider evidence to prove our opinions correct. We will search for any FB post, Twitter post, YouTube video, or morsel from TMZ to prove that our instincts are unquestionably correct 100% of the time. We don’t see the big picture, we don’t see the subtle shades of gray, we look for what we believe validates our opinions and we dig in our heels.

s-l1000This isn’t about whether or not Enzo raped that girl in that hotel room, this isn’t about whether that girl had consensual sex with Enzo and then later lied to cover up another lie, or to get attention, or some other nefarious and irresponsible reason. This is about US and the reactions we had. You should be absolutely embarrassed if you took to Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, and YouTube to try to find so called, “Insiders” and “Friends of the parties involved” to corroborate your own initial reaction and subsequent opinion as to who the guilty party is. I mean, when have we all become a bunch of f**kin’ 15 year old girls?? YouTube and Facebook are now all the evidence we need now to decide who is lying and who is telling the truth?? Are we trying to decide if the heinous act of rape was committed or if Becca lied about where she got Mono from and why Tyler isn’t returning any of Dakota’s texts??

Because the problem ultimately becomes, what does it take for you to change your mind once you’ve made it up in the split second after you read the initial report consisting of 20 words or less? If you automatically thought this was some “ring rat” that got caught lying about rehab or relapsing and made up some rape story and went searching social media for some evidence to show that she is somehow a liar, promiscuous, crazy, or in some other way less than a perfect little saint, then you probably found something. You probably found something to steel your low opinion of this girl. But let me ask you something. What would you have had to have found on social media to make you BELIEVE she is telling the truth? If she didn’t have so much as a spotless and boring FB account with nothing more than memes, pictures of her nom’ing out at food trucks, and selfies on hiking trips? Let’s be honest, if you would’ve found nothing you would’ve just told yourself she was smart enough to delete anything that might make her look bad and that you’d just wait for someone more computer savvy and with more time on their hands to uncover and recover all the dirt.

6110711ce148c7fc60a06ef6ea8c4caaConversely, while most of us were learning how much of a real-life douchebag Enzo was after being thrown off buses and out of locker rooms, cheating on Liv Morgan, and acting like he was a true Teflon Don, there is a huge percentage of people who are defending him now, saying that he couldn’t possibly have stooped to this level. Could you imagine Enzo calling up a couple of bros, telling them he’s in town and wants to get down, and having them bring the nearest “sure thing” they could find by baiting her with liquor and drugs? Could you imagine her getting high off her ass and Enzo telling her that he’s a “star” and she should be “begging for this d*ck because he has 1,000,000 followers on Instagram? Could you imagine Enzo really “living the gimmick”? Kinda?

But can we draw the line between d-bag and criminal? People were quick to bury the guy and say he was definitely guilty, and only an airtight alibi would make them change their minds. But what if he didn’t have that? Despite potentially lying about having one. What if he later just claims that he had consensual sex with a woman who seemed out of sorts, may have engaged in illegal drugs, but he didn’t witness it first hand and she was well within her sound mind to make any objections, of which she didn’t? What then? Does it come down to his word over hers? Are we now condemning the guy because he seems like a sleaze bag without any physical evidence or eyewitness accounts which we can deem credible and consistent? Have we allowed #MeToo to become #MeTooFar?

I don’t want to share my opinion on the case because, well, I don’t have one yet. I need to see all the evidence. I’m not going to take Enzo’s word for it if he knowingly kept this from the WWE, like a moron, no matter how BS he thought the charges were. If he was innocent, he should’ve prepared his employer for a possible public embarrassment, and that’s ultimately what got him canned. I’m not going to take the word of a woman I’ve only ever heard describe the account on TMZ. The law is pretty clear that if a person is too intoxicated or incapacitated due to alcohol or drugs (legal or illegal) and is not within their right mind to be able to coherently give consent for sex, it is considered rape by the other party. I take rape and sexual allegations VERY seriously, but I also understand that accusations, not even CONVICTIONS, but allegations can ruin someone’s life. I’m not going to be the one to read a couple dirt rags on backstage antics, Snapchat snippets, FB posts, and Twink YouTube “confessionals” and decide I’m going to send a man to jail or tell a woman that unless she has witnesses or video evidence that society won’t ever believe rape victims. Social media has made wrestling fans both smarter and dumber all at the same time. Even the “smarts” are “marks” now.


COLUMN C:

  • Sunny thinks Candice LaRae is too ugly to wrestle on the main roster. Which I get, back in the day Sunny was an absolute DIME in the WWF. However, it seems like inflation has hit her hard. She’s like a buck-sixty now…easy. By that I mean, she’s still easy.

 

  • Sunny also seems to think that Candice LaRae will require a lot of plastic surgery to be called up, and indicated Bayley had some done prior to her call-up. This is in line with the surgery Sunny had in 1996 when she had her gag reflex permanently removed and had a G.I. Joe Kung Fu grip installed.

 

  • Jey Uso was busted for a DUI in Texas. As a result, any wrestler in the WWE wanting to use a Samoan Driver as a finisher must now blow into a breathalyzer as a set-up.

 

  • As a result of Jey Uso’s DUI he lost out on a huge chunk of merchandise revenue from the marketing of his likeness because…his license had been revoked.
    Jey Uso’s car has also been impounded as it was found to be illegally modified, the driver side airbag had actually been replaced with a mere coconut.

 

  • Roman Reigns has been tied to a steroid distribution ring. Authorities became suspicious when they staked out a business front called, “Roman’s Gas Station”, with a sign that said, “Pumps are inside”.

 

  • There are also rumors of a secret website Roman used to run offering a 30 day “Juice Cleanse”, I thought it was weird it came with 10 free needles though.
    IMPACT Wrestling now has a Twitch channel. Which is ironic because every time I see IMPACT on a channel I start to twitch too.

 

  • The LAX vs oVe barbed wire massacre match was not nearly as bloody and brutal as I thought. I mean, I’ve seen more blood in the toilet after a 30 sec hangover piss the morning after. Yeah, I should…uhh…really see a doctor.

 

  • Brooke Hogan believes her father would win if he ran for a seat in the US Senate. Anyone else picturing the Hulkster wearing a weight belt to the senate floor with “Majority Whip” written on it?

 

  • Braun Stroman’s new catchphrase, “Get these hands” is receiving a lot of raised eyebrows. Especially after it was found he ripped it off an old Melissa Ethridge album cover.

 

  • Actually Dr. Larry Nassar was investigated initially after his initial batch of business cards said “Get these hands” under his e-mail address and cell phone.
    Zack Ryder is engaged to longtime girlfriend Chelsea Green, aka Laurel Van Ness. Fortunately, she already has the wedding dress picked out.

 

  • It looks like NJPW is doing a short tour in Australia this year. I hope they don’t try any Battle Royals while they are there. I just assume every time you try to throw a wrestler out of the ring…they just come right back in.

 

  • NJPW are close to selling out in Australia. In order to appeal to local crowds, they even made a few changes: the “Shining Wizard” will now be called the “Aborigine-Knee”, and the newest member of Chaos will be referred to as Jay “THAT’S a Knife” White.

 

  • Dezmond Xavier along with Zachary Wentz debuted for Dragon Gate. For those unfamiliar with his finisher, “Final Flash”, it’s an Ultimate Move by Vegeta, a character from the Dragon Ball Z anime. For those who are familiar with the origin of the move’s name, thank you for taking the time off from watching Hentai to read the column this week.

 

  • HHH and Stephanie McMahon beat the New Day in a lip sync contest to secure Jimmy Fallon for the RAW 25th? When the couple were told they’d be in a “Handicap Match” against the New Day on Fallon, their response was, “Of course we are, have you seen the size of the lips on those guys?”.

 

  • Steph has also announced she will be joining the announce team for the first ever Women’s Battle Royal match at the Royal Rumble. Which is great, because they are going to need SOMEONE to yell “PUPPIES!!” every 2 mins or so with Lawler gone.

 

  • Former porn “star” Mia Khalifa stepped into a ring at the behest of Joey Ryan over the weekend at Sabotage Wrestling? Khalifa has been calling out wrestling as “fake” for weeks now. Which is fair, but my response would be that I treat wrestling like I’d treat her tits and her orgasms; I could give a shit if they’re fake as long as it’s entertaining.

 

  • The angle saw Joey Ryan trying to coerce Khalifa into touching his famous dong. It didn’t work however because her “bodyguard” stepped in to stop him, and he forgot to pretend to be either a pizza delivery guy, a casting agent, or her ”stepdad”. Yeah…I may…have a problem.

 

  • Toni Storm won the PROGRESS womens’ title in England, STARDOM title in Japan, and now the wXw Title in Germany. Jebus. Storm’s passport has got to be handled more often than Mia Khalifa’s…ok yeah, I DEFINTELY have a problem…my insurance covers therapy I’m sure…

 

  • Minoru Suzuki and Zack Sabre Jr defeated Moustache Mountain for the RevPro British tag titles. Which is where they got the old saying, “Never bring a mustache to a ‘Gun fight”.

 

  • I didn’t think it was appropriate to make jokes about Enzo’s situation at the beginning of the column….however….if I WAS going to make a joke, these would have been some of them:

 

  • Enzo Amore: Bada BOOM, rapiest guy in your womb!!

 

  • Hopefully Enzo avoids this rape charge, otherwise the “Smacktalker Skywalker” might end up as Princess Splay-a in the prison bathroom.

 

  • If Enzo ends up serving time, he better hope no one in prison finds out he’s in there for rape. Generally the cons don’t like those kind of crimes, he may find himself “A Certified G and a Boner-Filled Stud’.

B


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