WOMAN ON FIRE – 12.12.2018: Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

By Kim Artlip, Columnist


As I sat down to write this week’s column, I had a song stuck in my head that meshed perfectly with my topic.  As I see it, the majority of our issues that we are facing in moving forward are actually caused by our words and actions and not outside forces.  We are our own worst enemy. Think about it:

I take one step forward, and two steps back
It’s always been like that
It shouldn’t be like that
I’m trying to overcome myself
Trying to work around this hell
Two steps forward, and three steps back
Why is life like that?
Why am I like that?
I’m trying to understand myself
Trying to fight through this hell
Why can’t I see this clearly
Why can’t I?

How many stupid times have we taken off our “professional” hat and made a snide or rude comment?  Not thinking about the ramifications of our words and the domino effect that they will have on our lives. We don’t realize that once something is posted on social media that it really never disappears even if we delete it because someone out there has seen it and started to repeat/share and remember it.

We have all heard stories of wrestlers who “mouthed” off to the powers that be in the WWE and vanished.  They made comments and criticized their storylines or the staff and suddenly they fade into obscurity. They then spend the rest of their days as a former WWF person that indy promoters are leery of due to the stories that have been spread.  We all just had someone come to mind that we’ve heard was a total dick in the locker room. But how did that start. From someone’s ill-timed comments or posts. They were their own worst enemy.

It really is like the phrase, “writing checks that your butt can’t cash” and it hurts and destroys reputations and careers.  You can’t take back something once you’ve put that bad juju out there. It’s like a fart in an elevator. Everyone smells it even if they don’t know who actually dealt it.  Don’t be that person.

You need to accept the simple fact that nine times out of ten, you are the biggest single obstacle standing in the way of self-improvement.  Now don’t get me wrong: this isn’t because there is something inherently wrong with you. You’re not having a harder time than other people because the world is against you and the planets aren’t in alignment.  There is no gigantic conspiracy against you.. You have the same problem that all of us have: you’ve got that little voice in the back of your head that wants to sabotage everything you do. It’s the voice that tells you that you can never accomplish your dreams, that nobody could possibly find you attractive, that you’re simply doomed to fail.

Here’s the thing about limiting beliefs: they’re an excuse. They’re lies. They are why you say you “can’t” when what you really mean is that you choose not to. You may believe that you’re too short or too fat or your gear isn’t good enough.  You don’t have the right connections or you don’t have the “look” that promoters want.. The truth is that you don’t want to risk rejection so you choose not to even try.

If you want something, you have to work towards it. If you want a career in wrestling, then you have to work at it. You have to accept the pain and the stress, the emotional ups and downs, the disappointments, the frustrations and the time and that means choosing to improve. You have to embrace that it may be harder for you than for others. There will always be guys or gals that started at the same time that you did that seem to be rocketing to the top and getting bookings. They may get lucky off the bat and find a gimmick that clicks and a moveset that is wowing the crowds.  Instead of bitching about them, start figuring out what they are doing right that you aren’t. And face it that people will pass you by and rise to the top. It sucks, but it’s life.

I know it is just so easy to say “What’s the point? I already know what the outcome is going to be.” And yeah, you do: you’ve bought into a self-fulfilling prophecy that you aren’t going to get that booking or you won’t get that next accolade so why even bother to try.. You don’t think it’s going to work, so it won’t. If you do try, you’ll be half-assing it, making a token showing just to shut people up and reinforce those beliefs.

And you’ll know you’re half-assing it. You will convince yourself and try to convince others that that no, you tried, you really did. But in the words of Yoda:  There is success and there is failure. There is no “try”.

Just stop.

Stop being your own worst enemy and get the hell out of your own way.  You can do anything that you put your mind to. Now I’m not saying you will succeed and you will be a household name but wouldn’t you rather live a live of no regrets and not second-guessing what you could have achieved.  Be the hero in your own story, not your nemesis. Until next time, ignite your fire, and follow your dreams.

Kim Artlip, Owner + Promoter


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