By The Vacant Champion,
staff writer, TheGorillaPosition
Wait, Rob Zombie isn’t booking matches for WWE? Then I demand an explanation for the Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton feud! We had a supernatural bad guy and an anti hero good guy whom set out to put an end to the evil Wyatt Family. Along the way we had roaches, worms, maggots, decomposed bodies, burned down homesteads, and pretty much everything else you need for a crappy B rated horror flick. Unfortunately, this was supposed to be a wrestling match, not a Freddy Krueger film. Though, Freddy probably could have cut a better promo than Orton.
The feud culminated last night at Wrestlemania 33. Though we could point fingers at many booking decisions last night, none more enigmatic than the ending of the WWE title match. Except maybe The Hardy Boys climbing the ladder and winning the tag team titles instead of Big Cass just tossing Enzo in the air to grab the belts off the hanger, but I digress. I’ve tried and tried to wrap my head around where the WWE plans to go from here. Is Randy Orton seriously going to be the face champion that carries the SmackDown Live brand? I can’t really imagine a scenario where that draws money, but we will look at what should have been done, and also what could be done going forward with Randy as the champ.
Looking at the match itself there’s a few things that really stood out as a major faux pas, but the worst transgression was without a doubt the loss of credibility for Bray Wyatt. First, let’s look at Bray’s supernatural powers. The leader of the Wyatt family draws his powers from sister Abigail, much like The Undertaker drew his power from the urn. The urn was easy booking. If you wanted the unbeatable Undertaker to be bested, you simply took away the urn, and therefore all his power. Randy Orton supposedly did take away Bray’s powers by disposing of Sister Abigail, but somehow during the course of the match, Bray was still able to tap his foot, flip upside down and turn the ring into maggots, worms, and then roaches.
By the way, I’m not sure what’s worse, that my autocorrect keeps changing the word roaches to reaches, or the fact I have to type roaches in an article about professional wrestling. I assume I’ll be seeing more of my wrestling writer friends in the unemployment line next week.
Anyway, back to the subject at hand. If Randy took away Bray’s powers by desecrating the corpse of Sister Abigail, then how did Bray Wyatt turn out the lights and turn the ring mat into bugs? On the other hand, if Bray has supernatural powers, then why was it so easy for Randy to hit the RKO and beat him? (At least they kept the RKO protected like finishing moves should be.) We now know without a shadow of a doubt that Bray Wyatt is nothing to be scared of. If he has his powers, he was easily beaten much like numerous other times, or he no longer has any power and therefore, he is an even weaker target than he was before when his powers never could garner him a win in any major feud to begin with. Sometimes I feel like the writers and bookers that are currently employed at Titan Towers don’t think things through, or think the WWE Universe is too ignorant to connect the dots of any kind of logic. There’s really no other explanation. If the Walking Dead lacked this much continuity it would’ve never made it past season one.
As bad as the match was, the fact that we have to now move forward with Randy Orton as the face champion, might be even worse. The Viper has shown time and time again that he can’t be a reliable face for the company. Not a knock on Randy’s talent, but if it looks like a heel and talks like a heel then it’s a heel. I understand that he’s not doing overly heel-ish things in the ring, but let’s be honest, Randy is a heel. Especially in real life. No doubt about it. Why would you take someone that is a natural heel and then try to shoehorn them into a face role? It’s going to be very interesting to watch how the WWE handles his character going forward.
Obviously hindsight is 20/20, but had I been booking the match at WM33, I obviously would have never used any of Bray’s “magic” since he no longer had the power of Sister Abigail. The match would have been in a cage to keep out any interference, or the illusion that it would keep out interference. After a few minutes of back and forth with Orton and Bray, I would have twenty to thirty sheep faced men come down and circle the cage. So far the cage dies it’s job and protect the inhabitants from outside intrusion. Unfortunately for Bray, Luke Harper still wants his revenge on Bray and heads for the ring. Luke, never being the type to let obstacles get in his way, climbs into the cage and attacks. When it looks like there is no hope for Bray to survive the onslaught, Erik Rowan comes down the aisle. Erik, looking like the most intelligent member of the Wyatt family, uses bolt cutters to remove the lock and enter the ring. There’s a stare down. Bray, looking as if he is using his power to control his family, tells Erik to attack. Erik, no longer under Bray’s control of course, attacks Bray. At this time the numerous sheep on the outside all file into the ring and attack Bray. Once he’s destroyed in the ring, Randy gets the victory. From there you can continue the feud and have Bray search for Sister Abigail. Once he finds her, he no longer needs a family. He then gets payback at Payback and wins his belt back.
Unfortunately for the fans, I’m unemployed and therefore you got what you got at Mania and we can’t change the past. We probably could have, but they already booked Bray to lose his powers….
Since we were given the match they gave us, we have to find a way to rectify this storyline. Fortunately I have a talent for rescuing storylines. I think the only sensible booking going forward is to get the belt off of Orton quickly. I’d push him into a feud with AJ Styles. Aj feels like he was cheated out of his title so it should make for easy booking to put them at odds with one another. Since having Orton carry the belt with AJ chasing him is probably not going to sit well with the crowd, because once again, that’s not Randy’s type of character. It just doesn’t fit The Viper moniker. Randy Orton needs to be angry, and ready to strike. I would have AJ cut a promo about how he has disposed of Shane and now he’s looking for his next victim. Everybody on SmackDown is now on notice. Then as Randy shows up as the new triumphant champion, AJ attacks. He then steals the belt from Orton and we move forward from there with Randy chasing AJ to get his belt back. Build it up for a match at Payback. From there you can put the belt back on AJ as a reset, typical WWE. Though I would book a double turn at Payback with Shane making it a no DQ match and aligning himself with Orton. Then when the time comes, interfering in the match. Have Shane hit AJ with a chair from the outside. Then jump into the ring, and him and Orton lay the biggest beat down on AJ Styles you’ve ever seen. You need AJ to bleed here but that want happen in PG land. After AJ is all but left for dead in the ring, (pool of blood would be nice) have Randy go for the pin. He just lays on him with a cocky, nonchalant pin while Shane laughs. One, two, kick out at the last second. I promise you get the biggest pop since AJ debuted at the Rumble. AJ then fights off both men using anything he can find. Eventually having the biggest comeback in history and getting the pinfall in the middle of the ring. We could go on from there but I’ll save it for another day.
Maybe after this week’s RAW and SmackDown we will have an understanding of where The E will go from Mania. It’s quite the confusing time right now and it’ll be interesting to see how they tie up the lose ends and move forward. All signs point to more of the WWE not booking very far in advance, and basically flying by the seat of their pants. You can get by like that, but you’ll never take the business back to where it was until you develop a real plan. I would at least book SummerSlam now and then start building those story lines tomorrow, but what do I know?