THE WEEKLY PIPEBOMB – 04.07.2020: My WWE Restructure Plan | Volume 5: Television

By Lauren Conrad, Columnist


We’ve been doing this for a month or so…  

This started off as a ‘one shot’, but then it kinda grew a lot larger than I intended it to.  But it’s been fun, dusting off the old creative hat and wearing it once again.  Yes, I’ve done this before, but we’ll get into that in a later article.

So far we took the WWE and turned it upside down.  We slimmed down the PPV schedule, got rid of belts, introduced a point system for titles, new match types, made some factions, and now it’s time to dive into the final part.  The shows.

“Well this should be a quick article, then right?” HAH.  No.  I mean it might be but this is me we’re talking about. 

Right now, we have the following shows.  I don’t know if 205 Live is still a thing, so for the sake of this article I will list it as active, so don’t @ me about it. 

RAW, Smackdown, NXT, NXT UK , and 205 Live.

So, there are five shows in total right now.  First things first.  I’m not touching NXT UK.  It’s fine the way it is.  Coupled with the fact that honestly, I have no idea about that show or roster, and it seems to be doing really well on it’s own, we’ll eliminate it from the restructure.  Sorry UK, you guys are doing fantastic on your own.

First things first.  An ABSOLUTE brand split.  No wildcard rule bullshit.  RAW is RAW, Smackdown is Smackdown.  NXT is NXT.  They only collide when the big 4 are coming up. 

These are my restructured shows:

RAW, Smackdown, NXT, Saturday Night’s Main Event, and In Your House.

Restrurcured WWE Shows

5 shows, yes.  Usually I slim down and cut, but let’s go into the who what where when why. 

RAW and Smackdown as well as NXT are self-explanatory.  They are a “Must stay”.  So, let’s go to Saturday Nights Main Event.  This was something dad and I used to watch when I was a teeny tiny spitfire Lauren.  It was on NBC and was what RAW and Smackdown became, but only an hour.  So, we take this show and bring it back, one hour, once every two months.  It would be a special showing leading into a major PPV.  It being every 2 months it makes it feel special, and would feature PPV quality matches.  I didn’t cover it in the previous article with PPVs because this would be a television show, or maybe a Network exclusive.  It would be short.  No promos, no yappy commentators, no bullshit.  Four matches TOPS at 15 minutes with strict time limits.  These would mostly be things like “Winner of this gets X amount of points” or defend the tag belts, or a MITB match, the possibilities are endless.  This would feature all three brands, RAW Smackdown and NXT.  There would be exclusive storylines that are “Slow burn” as we call them leading up to them, and a platform to launch lesser storylines of people who need to fade away from the limelight for whatever reason, health, family, whatever, they could finish their storylines here.

Longtime WWE fans will recognize In Your House.  It used to be a PPV show back in the 80s or 90s.  It was a nice show, nothing like Mania or the big 4.  It was a “midcard” ppv, But that’s not what it would be.  It would live up to it’s name.  It would alternate between it and Main Event each month.  The cycle would start in January, with In Your House, then the next month Saturday Night’s Main Event.  However, to make it stand apart from Main Event, this is where stories would be LAUNCHED, while Main Event would be endings. This would be something totally unique.  This would not be matches.  No ring, no fighting.  These would-be sit-down interviews, much like JR did back in the day.  We’d get to know talent.  Who is Roman Reigns?  Who is Daniel Bryan?  No, I’m joking, we’ve had enough of that.  NWA has a great little thing where new talent comes out and talks about themselves, and I think this would be a fantastic opportunity for new stars to debut.  They come on this show, come out and talk about themselves a bit in a good old-fashioned sit-down chat. 

“But how does this launch a story?”

Easy.  The newcomer would sit and talk, while wrestlers in the back would watch.  This would be UNSCRIPTED.  They could pick who they wanted to embark on a feud with.  If multiple people, say Rhea Ripley, Bianca, Becky, Sasha and Bailey all want to fight new talent Lauren Conrad, they all put their names in a hat, and that, literally, is how it’s picked.  A total wildcard, it adds something unique and interesting to the mix.  It would be an unscripted reality show, because lets face it, most of reality TV is scripted all to hell.  This would be a raw, unedited, unscripted view of talent.  Sink or swim.  The new wrestler is then put on the show that the star that picked them is on and thrown to the wolves.  They get matches with others while the chosen star watches.  So for example, Becky wins Lauren to feud with.  Lauren would then wrestle other talent while Becky watched ringside on comms.  Eventually Becky would step up and be like Ok you’ve proven yourself, lets go. 

This would be a nice bi-monthly treat for the fans, and help introduce new talent to the fans, and with the unscripted aspect, would really make WWE stand out from the rest of the competition.

We’re going to very, very briefly touch on commentary.  First off, Michael Cole would not be allowed to say “It’s Boss Time!” or “The big dog!” or any stupid ass catch phrases anymore.  Saxton and Lawler would also be future endeavored.  Corey Graves would be shown the door as well.

RAW would have Michael Cole and a weekly guest commentator.  It would rotate out every week to keep things interesting.  Feuds started on In Your House would have one of the wrestlers ringside, in our example case of Becky and Lauren, Becky would be on comms during Laurens matches.

Smackdown would be The Miz when he’s not in the ring, and again a guest commentator like RAW.  The Miz is the most charismatic on the roster right now. When Miz was in the ring, I’d pick Owens to commentate.  These two together?  Gold.  Another Vince and Ventura duo.

Mauro RanalloNXT would be HHH and Renalo.  Two fantastic commentators.

Saturday Nights Main Event would be whatever show is being featured that night, RAW, Smackdown, NXT.

In Your House would not have a commentator team.

That about wraps it up really.  New shows, an exciting non scripted show, and a new way for stars to debut.  This folks, has been a total ground up rebuild of the WWE and what it needs to survive in these times. 

This originally was the end, 5 parts, over a month about this.  But this started long before this “Pandemic” covid 19 bullshit happened.  This was all written with relying on crowds, fans, etc.  Now we don’t have them for now.  That being said I will have 1 more piece, and epilogue of it all, one that will deal with empty arena’s and how best to handle them.  It won’t be as in depth as these 5 have been, but it will cover how to best do this restructure in these times we’re going through right now. 

I end this five part series with this picture of John Cena as nWo Cena.

But… you can’t see him.


 

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