THE WEEKLY PIPEBOMB – 06.11.2020: AJ Lee’s Pipebomb

By Lauren Conrad, Columnist


August 30, 2013.  Monday Night RAW.  A night for the history books.  A night that AJ Lee absolutely buried the “women’s division”, or more specifically the Total Divas stars.  Natalya, Naomi, Cameron, Natalya, and the Botch Twins.  AJ Lee held nothing back, and showed what a fantastic promo you could cut if you’re let loose.  What happened?  Was this a worked shoot?  A shoot?  Or was it…dun dun DUN, a Pipe Bomb?

Yes ladies and gentlemen and non-binary people, we are going to talk about one of my favorite pipe bombs ever done on live TV, AJ Lee burying the WWE Women’s Division.  Or again, more specifically, Total Divas.  This was an unscripted promo, and this was an outright legitimate honest to God Pipe Bomb.

You see, when Total Idiots, I mean Total Divas, was started up, AJ Lee was asked to be on the show.  A role that would have possibly made her more famous.  Or, perhaps, buried her.  With the likes of Cameron, Natalya, Eva Marie, and the Botch Twins on the show as the least talented, next to the extremely talented Naomi, AJ likely would not have done well on Total Divas.  My opinion is AJ Lee was much better off without them.  AJ was the real pioneer of the women’s division, and this promo showed why.  No, sorry Botcha stans, it’s not your precious Both Twins that pioneered it.  As AJ said, she accomplished more in one year than they did in their entire careers.  AJ Lee was all around phenomenal.  She had the looks.  She had the in-ring talent.  She had tons of charisma in the ring.  Something all these women, even Naomi at the time, lacked.  Naomi would go on to be an amazing athlete herself, but at this point in her career, she was stuck with Cameron who’s lack of talent drug her down.  I want to take some points in her three-minute epic pipe bomb, and discuss it.

The first thing to look at is how this all came about.  AJ never opened up about it until in 2017 she was promoting her book; Crazy is my Superpower.  During a Q&A session, AJ said she was asked to be on Total Divas, which she politely declined.  Citing various reasons, including the name (which was sort of ironic as she was the Divas champion at the time), AJ said she would not partake.  Later on, Vince McMahon found out that she had declined, and gave AJ a rare chance in the WWE.  A hot mic, and three minutes to say why she didn’t want to join.  Boy did she ever.  

The promo opens up with AJ coming out after a match in which as usual the “Total Divas” were all standing around looking like idiots.  She started out being all sarcastic, and you knew shit was about to get real.  She immediately cut into the Botchas, saying they were dealing with their obvious “Daddy issues”, then proceeded to say that Natalya’s fiancé, TJ Perkins, wasn’t much of a man.  (Authors note: At this point in his career, I have to agree.  They made him look like Nattys bitch in the show).  One of the better lines she delivers is “And the other two were also there”, referring to Jojo and Eva Marie, both of which really had no reason to be there.  Granted none of them did but that’s besides the point.  I say Jojo and Eva as she refers to “The other two”, and they are the only main cast members not listed by this point.  At this point around 46 seconds the crowd is already eating this up with AJ chants.

At this point, at the 1-minute mark, things start to get real.  AJ looks in the ring and asks “Wanna know what I see when I look in that ring?  Honestly?  A bunch of cheap, interchangeable, expendable useless women.  Women who turned to reality television because they weren’t talented enough to be actresses”.

We’ll pause here a moment.  AJ was dead on, more so than she even realized.  The only worthwhile talent in the ring or ringside at the time was Naomi, and at that point in time she was even a terrible wrestler.  She eventually really shined when she broke off on her own, but at this point, being held back by Cameron, even Naomi was useless.  Eva Marie?  All she had was the looks.  I give her credit, she TRIED, she really tried, but she just couldn’t cut it.  Natalya, well, she was fairly washed up long ago by this point sadly, Jojo was a ring announcer, why she was on the show who knows, and the Botch Twins, well, we’ll cover them shortly.  Back to the promo, starting at 1:19

AJ on Monday Night RawThe Botchas really try to bury this with their loud obnoxious mouths. At 1:34 AJ makes a very, very short, but impactful statement.  She makes several, but one really stands out more than the others, and that is “I have done more in my one year than you have in your entire collective careers.”

Nikki had won the title in 2012, but it was short lived, and the Botchas had been wrestling at that point since 2008.  AJ however, joined the main roster after a vast series of accomplishments in FCW in 2011, and won her first belt in 2013, a mere 2 years after her debut, compared to the Botcha’s 4 years.  AJ held the title for 295 days, and a total of 406 days, 105 more than Nikki Botcha.  AJ had a much more decorative career at this point, and rightfully so.

AJ goes on to say how she saved the division, shattered glass ceilings, broke down doors, all of which she did, and she was only 21 years old.  Her next line was brutal at 1:52 

“Why, so a bunch of ungrateful thick plastic mannequins can waltz on through without as much as a thank you?”

Followed later by my all time favorite part of this entire promo.  Where she really lays it on the wannabe divas.  This was absolute savage, even more savage than anything I would have said.  Maybe.  Ryan might disagree with that.

“I didn’t get here because I was cute, or because I came from some famous wrestling family.”

At this point, she outright savagely calls the Botcha twins out at 2:38 with “Or because I sucked up to the right people. I got here because I am good.  I earned this championship.”

So true AJ, so true.  AJ didn’t need to suck dick to get to the top.  AJ didn’t have the looks of Eva.  She didn’t have the amazingly athletic ability Naomi would later demonstrate.  She wasn’t from the Hart family, and she didn’t need…um, what exactly did Jojo have to get on the show?  We’re not quite sure.  AJ Lee was very talented like I said earlier.  All around.  Looks, charisma, talent, in ring work.  AJ had it all, and she just outright called all the excuses of a cast out here.

“You are all worthless excuses for women, and you will never be able to touch me, and that is reality.”

Boom, mic drop bitch.  Literally.  However, what absolutely ruined this amazing pipe bomb was two things. 

  1. Michael fucking Cole.   Running his mouth claiming that she was jealous of the fame of the total divas.  Quite the opposite you idiot.
  2. The Botchas.  Standing at ringside, not shutting their obnoxious mouths, yelling so loud you could hear them like you were next to them, acting all tough and badass when we really know that they’re the Botch Queens.  AJ Lee said something fantastic once.  “Talent, is not sexually transmitted.”

This promo was the definition of a pipe bomb. This promo was beautiful.  Afterwards, Vince McMahon, shockingly, said he was proud of AJ for this pipe bomb, and AJ was not punished for it.  In fact, if I recall, AJ was actually pushed after this. 

So that’s that.  Another real wrestling pipe bomb.  For those keeping track at home, that’s Shane Douglas, the Jeff Hardy Incident and now this one.  Send me suggestions on ACTUAL pipe bombs to cover!  I will not touch anything related to Phil Brooks, as all his promos were scripted and not pipe bombs.

To the Botcha stans upset that I’m calling them what they are?  #SorryNotSorry.

 

As usual, hit me up on Twitter, @LaurenCR3 if you want, but if you can’t be respectful, I will block you, be warned.

Also please don’t sue Ryan, my opinions are my own and not representative of his.

I leave you with a great video by TwistedDoll09 on YouTube called AJ Lee Most Savage Moments.  My favorite is at 2:12, “I defied the odds, I’ve been defying the odds since 1987, that’s the year I was born, figure it out, do the match, I’m still too old for Jerry Lawler.”

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