What if Wrestlers Played Other Sports?

There’s always been a link between wrestling and others sports. Who can forget that Miller Lite commercial from back in the day? And while many sports stars (we’re looking at you ex-NFL guys) have joined the ranks of wrestling, what about switching the other way? Believe it or not, there haven’t been too many wrestlers who have left the ring to take up another sport. Well, there have been a few, but not many who actually achieved anything of note.

That got us thinking about the current and former stars of the game and the sports that we’d like to see them take up. Stone Cold Steve Austin playing badminton? Ric Flair playing Texas Holdem? Yes, as far as this article goes, the more ridiculous the pairing, the better. So without further ado, here are some of our favorite wrestlers and the sports we’d like to see them play.

Batista – Soccer

You saw that movie with good old Dave in the soccer stadium sorting out a bunch of terrorists, right? Well, we’d prefer to see him on the actual pitch. There are a few who have played both sports, Grant Holt, Tim Weise, and Stuart Tomlinson, but none of them have that wow factor that Batista brings to the ring and the silver screen.

So why do we want to see him on the pitch and where should he play? The temptation would be to put him in goals, but we reckon he’d be the best tough tackling defender. Imagine Ronaldo or Messi coming up against him in a cup final. He’d break them in half just by looking at them. In fact, it would be worth it just to see that alone.

The Undertaker in Chili
Not quite a poker face but intimidating as hell Photo credit: Wikimedia / CC BY-SA 2.0

The Undertaker – Poker

Caption – Not quite a poker face but intimidating as hell
Now you might think that the Undertaker may not be the very best at hiding his emotions, making him one of the worst poker players ever, but we beg to differ. The very fact that he only ever displays one emotion (seething rage) makes him impossible to read. As far as we can see, the man already has the poker mental game nailed down. And as for that stare? He’d scare his opponents into folding each and every time!
We can just see it now. Instead of the Royal Rumble, we have the Royal Flush Rumble (cheesy, we know), where at the center of the ring wrestlers sit around a large poker table. The Undertaker would destroy all challengers with his incredible bluffing skills taking the title as World Wrestling Poker Champion. What? They have chess boxing don’t they?

Seriously though, we reckon the Undertaker would actually make a good poker player. He’s got the focus, that ice cold stare, and if you’ve ever hear him talk backstage, the guy has the smarts to play a mean poker hand. If they ever start another one of those reality poker shows, we’re going to suggest his name to the producers. That would be far more entertaining than any of that Love Island stuff.

John Cena
We can actually see this guy on the ice Photo credit: Flickr / CC BY-SA 2.0

John Cena – Figure skating

You can laugh all you want, but the truth is that if you asked John Cena to take up ice skating, the guy who never gives up would in all likelihood nail it. Even if he did become good enough to have Olympic aspirations, he would still look hilarious in a sequined one piece. Funny that non-wrestling fans think that wrestlers look ridiculous in their costumes, but figure skaters, at times, really do look odd.

We’d pay good money for a ticket to watch Cena skate his way around the rink pulling triple axles and whatever else you call those funny moves. It would be incredibly, especially if he managed one of those spinning in the air things (is that a triple axle?) and landed doing the splits. Strangely enough, with Cena’s willingness to give anything a try, we could actually see this happening. Dancing on Ice? Although judging by his dance moves, it’ll take a lot of practice.

Big Show – Table Tennis
You need to ask us why we want to see this? Really? Well, it’s not actually what you think. You see we’re not talking about the mid-90s Big Show who tipped the scales at 400 pounds. The Big Show who thought that training hard was having a third pizza at lunch and an extra gallon of soda. We’re talking about the new and improved Big Show that now boasts a six-pack and treats his body as a temple. The Big Show that looks almost as good as The Rock without his shirt.

Since he lost all of that weight, the man has looked incredible. He looks fit, trim, and ready to take on the world. So we’d like nothing more than to see him jump around a table whacking a ping pong ball with a tiny paddle. Part of us is laughing inside at the ridiculousness of the situation (there’s that word ridiculous again), but there’s a bigger part of us that thinks he can actually do it. Big Show vs. some table tennis guy has a certain ring to it doesn’t it, or is that just us?

Hulk Hogan – Chess

What more can we say? The Hulkster playing chess is everything we want to see in life. Those huge shoulder hunched over a tiny chess board as Hogan considers his next move. The sweat dripping down his forehead onto his pawns as his opponent puts him in check. Make it happen, please!

Hogan is supposedly quite the astute guy and so we’re guessing that he may be quite good at the game should he ever take it up. In fact, maybe he’s already a bit of a chess fiend and we don’t even know about it. Either way, we’d still love to see him in one of those televised games, but we’re not sure if would end in tears with broken furniture and perhaps a few slaps to his opponent thrown in for good measure. He’s not exactly renowned for his mild mannered temper now is he?

So that’s our picks for sports we’d like to see our favorite wrestlers playing. What about you? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to see Sasha Banks on the tennis court or Goldberg at the poker table? Let us know in the comment below and remember, the more ridiculous it is, the better.

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